I’m bored… I finished my test early, so I have lots of time. It’s only 8:42 AM, but I’m already really tired. :\

I haven’t written in this thing for a few days, so I figured I would atone for my sloth by posting a short entry. Unfortunately, I have nothing interesting to write about.

I’ll probably re-write this one when I get home. mata ne~

No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be on top. (I’d like to clarify that I speak of my peers, not everyone in the world, because I’m sure some uninformed soul will try to comfort me with “There will always be someone better! Don’t worry about it!”) Although I wouldn’t necessarily call my efforts sisyphean, I just don’t view them as reaping rewards of quite the same deserving quality.

I have a bad habit of becoming complacent with failure, and I certainly do view my actions as failures when absolutely none of them prove to be the best.

 Haha, I suppose that would explain my recent lack of motivation / effort.

I simply don’t see the value in working for something with blood, sweat, and tears that someone else can achieve effortlessly. If you’re not good to begin with, then maybe it’s just not your thing.

I think that if people realized this, the world would be a better place. :\ I have no patience for people who strive to be (and believe that they truly are) things that they will never become. It indicates a lack of self-awareness and borderline ignorance. Quite frankly, I’ve had enough of both.

…Well. -scrolls up- That was a bit of a tangent there. Although I don’t think it necessarily matters because this post lacks a subject as well as a general direction. I suppose it’s time to return to my studies.

Sorry. My pride in “community, scholarship, and unbounded spirit” does not extend quite that far.

But… Here’s some pictures from today (a.k.a. Twin Day).

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 I haven’t been to the beach in a long time, so I went to Half Moon Bay with Alex after school. It was so nice~

I wish summer would come~!

Today was incredibly difficult due to the addition of these:

They’re pretty, but they’re SO HARD to do anything with. -__- I couldn’t get books out of my backpack.

Umm… not much to say today (and the nails are making me not want to type XD). So until next time~

 Not much to say. I’ve been writing in two blogs recently, and it’s been very confusing.

I made a list of stores that I want to go (back) to.

• BABY, THE STARS SHINE BRIGHT
• d.i.a.
• LOVE BOAT
• h.NAOTO
• SEX POT REVENGE
• Angelic Pretty

But the list goes on forever and ever. So I’m just gonna stop here.

Also, I’ve been feeling the urge to see a concert. I have three in mind.

1. Miyavi’s “This Iz the Japanese Kabuki Rock Tour 2008″
2. The “Taste of Chaos” Tour, because D’espairsRay and MUCC will be perfoming
3. Fanime 2008 (how dorky, I know), because Antic Cafe will be thereeee <3

I desperately need to see a concert. The last time I went to one was in middle school… It was a good concert though. :] It had Alicia Keys, Beyonce, and Missy Elliott.

Also, one of my favorite men singing one of my favorite songs. So pretty…

But now I must study. C’est la vie.

Life is getting harder and harder. School sucks, my social life sucks, my parents suck, typical teenager stuff blahblahblah

I never realized how much, though. All of a sudden I have to try and keep up with school work (which in actuality isn’t that much compared to some other people), keep my sanity, and maintain peace in the house. It’s ridiculous, because frankly I’m not good at any of those things.

Ultimately, I block people out to be able to focus and attempt to complete them. I suppose people are finding me rather irritable and unpleasant. I’m not going to argue with that. I find myself doubting my abilities more and more these days, and it makes me feel like I want to get away from everything.

Winter break should be longer.

You all can expect something nicer tomorrow.

じゃ、 また明日。